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My Mind’s Eye Needs Glasses
Top 7 Reasons the Mayan calendar ended in 2012 Because the author’s chisel broke. Because the author accrued a lot of vacation. Because someone got carpal tunnel syndrome. Because an overachiever got...
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Your Sweat Doesn’t Calm Me
“I can’t believe she wants us in at six. It’s one in the morning,” I’m complaining to the rest of my team members on the verge of another meltdown. “I’m exhausted,” another of my team members, Kevin...
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The Haunting
I hate it when I’m working late at night. All’s quiet and dark, when my cursor starts moving across the screen like the pointer on a Weegie Board. It scares the crap out of me. I’m like, “Grandma?”
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Barb, the Vegan Zombie
Imagine a world where the undead exist and you hope one side or the other will pick you to join them. What if the wrong side picked you? Barb lay faced down on the pavement. Her warm blood flowing...
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And They Don’t Teach Cursive Any More
I think this demonstrates when it could come in useful.
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Ladies Do Lunch, I Eat It
Baby Kitty, that is not where your face should be. “Charles is having an affair,” Margo blurted out. She glanced away, staring out the window as if she had just told me she bought a handbag that cost...
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My Mind’s Eye Needs Glasses
Top 14 Reasons I hate 8 a.m. I hate 8 a.m. because People are stupid at 8am again. People are smart asses at 8am. People are grouchy. I know I’m people. My eyes refuse to focus. Perky people want me to...
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Skip Spelling Much?
I think tattoo artists should take an oath. I solemnly swear to tell my customers when they have misspelled a word instead of laughing inside and letting them leave my shop looking like a fool.
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You’re Very Ugly for Your Wedding?
I’m lying on the exam table in my doctor’s office the Wednesday before my wedding. The room seems bleary through my watery eyes. It probably smells like antiseptic, but how would I know my nose has...
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My Mind’s Eye Needs Glasses
10 Things I have been known to say to or about my arch-nemesis Hey, is hateful on a stick here yet? If we say my arch-nemesis’s name backwards babies cry, mirrors shatter & volcanoes erupt. I spoke...
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