Kids Say the Darnedest Things – Foreign Edition
I was with my sister and nephew on a beach in Spain. It wasn’t a nudist beach, but apparently sometimes stuff just happens. My nephew had just come to tell me, “Jesus walked on that water. I vomited...
View ArticleErotica and Peanuts Don’t Mix
Picture it, a dark, smoke filled bar. I hiked myself up on a black leather stool. The bartender slid a glass of soda water with lime in front of me. (I gave up alcohol two weeks ago and can’t for the...
View ArticleMeeting Games
I have been known to nod off in long meetings in which the topic has little to nothing to do with me. I’ve invented a game to stay awake, the one line game. Here’s a few from yesterday: I new insanity...
View ArticleMy Mind’s Eye Needs Glasses
I can always tell when I haven’t taken my medication. A voice in my head whispers, “If you can hear me, you haven’t taken your meds today.”
View ArticleRescue Me
You have been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show or movie you watched are coming to rescue you. Who are they? Lucifer from the show with the same name is rescuing me. That’s what they...
View ArticleYou’re Trapped on a Deserted Island with …
You’re trapped on a deserted island with the main character from the last movie or TV program you last watched. How do you survive and/or escape? I’m trapped with Claus Michaelson, the lead vampire...
View ArticleTop 10 Things I Said During Christmas
Some people never grow up and I’m glad I’m one of them. My top 10 list of things I said during Christmas. 10. I don’t know who brought the whoopee cushion, but yes, I did use it. 9. You are not...
View ArticleCall Me a Girl, Not a Call Girl
My phone number belonged to a call girl before I got it from T-Mobile. She must have been really good because she still gets calls. I thought about answering numbers I don’t know with some themed...
View ArticleHotels
On my way to New Orleans, I stayed in a less expensive hotel in order to save a little money. It seemed fine enough, except the carpet was sticky, there were no washcloths and no soap. The front desk...
View ArticleI Miss the Sugar
What does this picture have to do with my post? Nothing, but it’s my blog and I can post it if I want to. I need to write something funny, but I’m not feeling inspired. I think maybe my blood sugar...
View ArticleUnhappy Kitty
I’m trying to work today, however my cat has other ideas. He has gone from the back of my chair, to my lap, my desk, my keyboard and now my mouse. Oh Annoying Cat, go somewhere else. I’m trying to...
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